The Tale of appreciation and apologies

"What else should I be? All apologies" - All Apologies - Nirvana

Apologies everyone. I have been absolutely swamped recently. There has been so much going on. I have been thinking a lot about the future and what it has in store for me, Foundry Fuel and a few other bits and pieces. This post is going to be a bit of a longer one as I cover various topics so hopefully it makes up for the recent radio silence.

So, since my last post I have been doing several things. You will probably remember I came back from NYC and wrapped up the Founder Labs Cohort 2 Showcase before starting a new role at Cloudsmith. Leaving Founder Labs was very emotional for me. I met some great founders and really, deeply cared about them and their progress. So to leave them impacted me more than I expected.

This is probably going to be the last post for a while so to recap let's go back a bit further than that and we can bring everything up to date.

I have been on a long journey of rehabilitation since Selazar collapsed in late 2023 and probably didn't even realise it at the start. I have mentioned before how the collapse totally stripped me of any sense of purpose, direction or goals. Where as some of my peers, and they are awesome, dusted themselves down and built something new, I just couldn't. Maybe it was the previous eighteen months of problems with our investors which had drained me? Maybe it was my neurodiverse brain needing time to catch-up and process the injustice? Maybe it was the humiliation I felt in front of my kids that Daddy had failed? Or maybe I was just sick of it all.

We really did get nothing but experience and each other.

When Selazar went down injustice is the word I would have used. We all worked so hard to keep it going and keep it alive. Often against all the odds. So when it did collapse I was raging while trying to keep a lid on things. We couldn't speak freely and we couldn't say what actually happened, what we thought and what had gone on behind the scenes. Now it's officially dissolved I can at least think clearly.

We got nothing tangible from Selazar. Honestly zero. We had invested everything of ourselves into the business initially and also back into the business every time there was an investment round. Someone asked me recently if we all at least got our mortgages paid off with those award winning rounds. Nope! We really did get nothing. That will amaze some people and i'm sure delight others but that's the truth of it.

I don't come from money either. That's not a complaint. I'm no working class hero by any stretch of the imagination but I couldn't just dip into the bank of "family" to get back on my feet or start something new. You'd be surprised how many founders I have met who do just this. Sometimes it does seem like a rich kid's playground.

This isn't a moan. I am getting somewhere and it's this. I don't want to go on anymore about Selazar. It's the past and it's dead, but all of this baggage needed to be stripped and that was my quest.

Sometimes you need the smoke and mirrors.

I'm a big believer in things happening for a reason in life. I believe that if you work hard, learn and put in effort then you will see good things at the other side. These things may not be what you expect, what you wanted or when you want them but I do believe there is a cosmic energy guiding a path, somewhere, somehow. Life would be a little boring if we didn't have a little magic and mysticism somewhere.

So the quest of rehabilitation has been hard. I have found out what I didn't want to do very quickly and then dipped back into the start-up world and dipped back out again as well. Why? Well in my opinion start up world is in a very weird place and it needs to calm down a bit. With the world economies the way they are and the good-use, mis-use and over-use of AI influencing every good idea it feels like a bit of a mess. For me that just wasn't going to work. People who know me know I am not the "fake it until you make it" type of person. I am honest and transparent and that's not always the best way to be when promoting a start-up. Sometimes you need the smoke and mirrors.

Amazing people

What I did do however was meet people who care about other people and that helped me to care. People like Claire Halliday in The Ormeau Labs is one of those people who joyfully helps people so they will help others. It's infectious and breeds collaboration that results in a community. She's a magic person and if anyone was ever deserved of recognition like an honors title or something like that, Claire is it. Not everyone is so engaged, so caring and sees beyond their own needs, goals and desires. Claire does, she is the real deal and she believed in me. She knew I wasn't done when I didn't know. That people, is a real friend.

Let me tell you about the founders. I love founders and I loved the Founder Labs cohorts I worked with. So much talent, so many great ideas and such passion and drive. Being able to help them and see them grow really helped my rehabilitation. I hope I was able to help them as much as they helped me but regardless I am sure they will go from strength to strength.

And what about Foundry Fuel? Well I am taking it down and assessing the purpose. When I started I had a couple of key customers/champions who believed in the product and they either moving on or doing other things. What I realised though is that I had made some absolute rookie mistakes. I need a team to be part of. Solo founder life isn't for me. Also, I have depended on too many customer types, not researched my lower profile customers enough and not advertised enough. It really was a "but really, why should they care" moment and a learning lesson. I still think it's a great product and i'm not ditching it, i'm just sitting it on the back burner for a bit. Now that may sound like a failure but it's really not. Foundry Fuel got me coding again, it got me learning again and it got me interested in start-ups again. Not enough to take the plunge on something big but some major steps forward again. Swings and roundabouts eh?

A lighthouse in the fog of a messy startup eco-system.

So that has led me to Cloudsmith. I won't go into how I became Head of Technology Partnerships but for the first time in over seven or eight years I am not a Director, C-Level or Upper Management. And do you know what? It's great! As part of the Office of the CTO I get to contribute technical work while engaging and building relationships with key partners. Regular hours, work from home, no stress and no hassle. All views are considered, encouraged and assessed equally. The best of it though is the team and culture Alan and Lee have built at Cloudsmith. I went in knowing it would be good but honestly it's so much better than that. Passionate people, with direction and skills to back it up in a friendly and collaborative environment. It's a lighthouse in the fog of a messy startup eco-system. And that inspires. It has reminded me that startups can work, do work and good ideas transcend the gimmicks. It has also lit a fire in my belly that I thought was out forever; a love of what a start-up can achieve. So Kudos to them for building something so great and thanks as well. Thanks for reigniting that love to do things and make the magic happen.

All good things

Because of all these things and because of this blog, I believe I am on the other side of this journey now. This quest taught me so many things. I love code, I love startups, I love ideas, I love people, I love adding value, I have value, I can do things, I'm weird, I'm neurodiverse, I'm not washed up and the world is still an exciting place. So what is next?

Well i'm enjoying what I am doing and I seem to be doing well. The worst thing now is to make rash decisions and blow it up. I want to keep doing what I am doing, look after myself and keep enjoying myself while I pursue other activities. I am finally seeing some light with the AI concerns I have had for so long. The MCP adoption has really added some rules to interactions with AI and I can see massive benefits for that. I want to play around with that.

I will be kicking off the NI AI MeetUp in late summer (when everyone comes back from July) and I will experimenting with new things in the background. I will share, support and help where I can and I will enjoy myself. Stoking that fire in my belly for......who knows.

My advice? Keep breathing. Keep enjoying. Keep loving and keep looking for those opportunities. There are great people out there. Try and network. Go to a MeetUp. Say hello or just reach out on LinkedIn.

We've all got this.

Thanks
G